one stereotype leads to another

Salon.com published an interesting essay on home-schooling this past week. As I recently discussed in my own essay, I Love Kindergarten, on Babble.com, I'm happy to send Julia to school all-day long. But I have nothing against home-schoolers. In fact, I admire their choice. I reserve the right to home-school my own children should I think they'd receive a better education at home with me (which may be the case at some point). I definitely don't happen to believe that all home-schoolers are a bunch of "conservative Christians who hate the government and wear denim jumpers,"--an unfortunate label that another home-schooler quoted in the article observes as predominant these days. What's more, I try not to make the assumption that all conservative Christians hate the government and wear denim jumpers. I, for one, don't.

I also don't believe that the alternative to home-schooling--that is education in a school--is a worse choice. It's just a different choice. I certainly don't believe as the author, Mr. O'Hehir, writes regarding full-day kindergarten that "The real purpose of all this formal schooling is to get the kids out of the house and train them to stand in line and follow instructions while mommy and daddy get back to their ultra-important lives as economic production units." Certainly there are good schools and there are bad schools, but there are a great many terrific schools doing so much more than training kids to stand in line. I suspect that there are good home-schoolers and bad home-schoolers as well.

Mr. O'Hehir seems to understand that, by and large, how we educate our children is a choice. He's saying homeschooling works for him, and I'm glad. I only wish, that by trying to dispel some of the generalizations and myths about home-schooling, he wouldn't have drawn some of his own stereotypes. For the record, Mr. O'Hehir is not a bible-thumping Christian. Does that mean he's not a Christian at all, or that he just doesn't thump his bible? I'm not sure, though I'm pretty sure the distinction shouldn't matter.

my unanswered prayers

Sometimes God does not answer our prayers. At least not immediately. And perhaps certain prayers never get answered. I know some of my prayers have gone unanswered. My daughter is sick and her diagnosis is not the news I wanted. Still, I'm not discouraged. There is an opportunity here.

In recent years, I have learned that faith is rarely about a specific outcome. Faith is much more than that. Faith is having faith no matter what. Faith is accepting what each day brings. I'm still so thankful for every day I have with my children. I'm so thankful I get to be their mother (in sickness and in health). I'm lucky, even when I feel otherwise. I'm blessed and loved and heard.

sitting alone

Julia boarded the bus by herself this morning. Our neighbors took off for a family vacation, leaving Julia the only one at our bus stop. I warned her last night that she would have to do it solo this time around. I was slightly worried because I noticed all last week that she would wait until Nora, the oldest of our neighbors children, boarded the bus. Then she would follow confidently behind.

Part of me wanted to encourage her to sit with another child, but I decided to let her find her own way. She sat in an empty seat. She scooted to the window, waved, and smiled a huge grin. I'm glad I didn't suggest that sitting with someone else is better than sitting alone.

Nevertheless, part of me wanted to cry thinking about her riding away all by herself. And part of me realized how good it was. She was alone and still happy. I hope she never loses that inner contentment.

some inspiring words

"God makes us in his image. We reflect the beauty and creativity and wonder of the God who made us. And Jesus calls us to return to our true selves. The pure, whole people God originally intended us to be, before we veered off course. Somewhere in you is the you whom you were made to be." - Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis

a purpose

I've never been able to get rid of that feeling that I should be doing something MORE with my life. Surprisingly, becoming a mother didn't get rid of that feeling. In fact, the feeling has increased since becoming a mother. I don't believe my entire purpose is centered around motherhood; although the experience of being a parent has helped me to understand myself better. 

I have always believed God has a specific purpose for me. Once when I first started working professionally, and I was feeling unsatisfied, I was taking a walk outdoors during lunchtime. As I walked, I message popped into my head. That message was, "Your purpose in life is to share your Voice with others." 

I realize now what a prophetic message this was because there are two things that make me feel most fulfilled: singing and writing. Still, I'm not exactly sure how to use these two talents in a more purposeful way. More specifically, I want my writing to make a difference. 

Lately I've felt a strong calling to focus my writing around my Christian faith. It's something I've been writing about now and again, but I'm getting all the signs that I should REALLY devote myself to this pursuit. It's a leap of faith all on it's own. I'm not an evangelist. I believe one's faith is a personal choice. I believe God speaks to people in different ways and reveals Himself to people in different ways. For me, and this is really a recent development, I feel the way and path to God is by following Jesus. But saying it, doesn't roll of my tongue easily. It feels new, stiff, almost untrue even though it's not. And yet, something's telling me to write about it so I guess this is the start of something more PURPOSEFUL. 

Stay tuned!  

i'm still here

I'm still here. My blog is still here too. I'm just pondering things for a little bit. I'm pondering what direction to take my non-fiction writing. I'm pondering my faith and how to experience it more deeply. I'm thinking too about happiness and motherhood and why it's sometimes so hard for me to be present in the moment. I'm thinking about ways to let go of the fears in my life: fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of inadequacy. I'm thinking and praying and welcoming the falling leaves and changing weather because change is what I need right now. Not major change, because my life is good and blessed, but a subtle shift in thinking and attitude. I feel as though I've been praying all summer long, and yet it's been too loud inside my head to hear. I started summer wanting fun and ended summer thankful that two of my children were spared serious illness and injury. And I feel like it was a warning. No, not a warning, but a message. Slow down, pay attention, be here right now in this moment in your life with your children. Through the loudness, I did hear that. So I'm still here. Don't stop reading. I'll be writing more soon.